MindYourBusyNess: 2010

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3 approaches to risk


What do you do when you face a storm?

* Cancel your journey and run towards your sweet home.
* Look for a shelter/anchor around and wait for the storm to pass.
* Or run towards the storm to face it.

Well these are the 3 basic types of reactions which people do choose. (Some of you may be wondering as to how the third option can be a valid choice; I will talk about it little later.)

These are 3 basic techniques to face the storm. These are also 3 ways by which we face problems or turbulent time in our lives.

1. Safe approach- In this technique, you do not want to take risks, so on getting the indications of any problem or trouble you slip back or withdraw to your protective comfort zone. It is the most common approach.

2. The matured one – You do not postpone or cancel your plans on getting indications of troubles. You know, ‘this too will pass’. All you ‘look for’ is a suitable anchor to hold on and keep doing whatever is your already chosen job. Some selected people do take this approach.

3. The entrepreneurs’ urge- You want to come out of it very fast. You don’t even wait for it to pass with its own speed. So you run against it taking all possible risks so that you are out of it in much lesser time than others. This is a rare approach in which risks as well as rewards are very high.

These 3 techniques are suitable for 3 different types of circumstances.

If you have something to protect, if you own something which has got value which you don’t want to lose it, then safe approach is most suitable. Most of the times we want to protect our job, relationship or position in society. So we are neither very keen to change our behaviour pattern easily nor we take big risks even after provocations.

With time we all gather experience in one field or other. Once we become master of some field, we realize that most of time desired results can be achieved irrespective of the prevailing circumstances as long as we possess the critical required resources. This is suitable situation to take the matured approach and don’t get disturbed by minor resistances.

When you have not got much to lose, your urge to take bigger risks and get bigger rewards increases. You want to gamble and this looks a profitable business to you. Some time due to sudden & unexpected loss, you are forced to take this approach by the circumstances, not by choice.

Many times, we take one of the 3 approaches repeatedly and this becomes our habit. We start following that approach unconsciously & mechanically. By such selection, we become typed persons. We become slave to our own personality like some good artist becomes typed in her/his own image and lose their charm.

Do you do a realistic assessment of the risk and decided your approach or do it as a matter of habit?

If it is a habitual and compulsive selection, you better do something about it. Beware, old habits die hard.

Split second decisions







Once I had the privilege of traveling in the cockpit of the aero-plane. I found that the captain of the plane was sitting idle most of the time. He seemed relaxed. He was enjoying his coffee and chatting to me in very casual manner as if he was a traveler too like me.
This was just opposite to my perception which I had about the working of the captain in the cockpit of a moving plane. I assumed him to be a busy, tense, worried person and physically engaged in activities of adjusting and controlling the buttons & levers etc.
I asked him why the job of a pilot is highly paid and considered tough and ‘what was his specific role as a captain of the plane?’
He explained to me how the modern planes can be programmed to run on auto pilot mode till everything is working normally on ‘expected lines’. The other crew members were busy in rituals according to the instructions given to them by him before the take off of flight. They can manage minor problems in the working.

He has to be just watchful that everything (the machines, controls and his crew members) is working as expected. His real job starts during emergency situations. It is during those situations, where his vast experience and training will count. He has to take split second decisions in the worst of circumstances. That is what he is paid for.
To facilitate him to execute his decisions, he was having parallel but overriding controls to the co-pilot who is actually flying the plane. Thus he was able to negate the effect of any immature action by the co pilot.

To perform his job honestly and sincerely (realizing that his own life and lives of all passengers were at stake on his performance) he was being ‘at ease’ with the environment so that he can work at his best.
It is also possible to have similar arrangement in our lives and fly in the vast sky of our imagination. Most of the activities in our society today are just mechanical rituals. Let them happen as it is unless there is something very disturbing. Do not overload your mind. Just relax and enjoy.
Just instruct the work team (in case you have the privilege of having one) reporting to you before the start of any major event. After that allow them to do their work and do not interfere.
Be cheerful and conserve your energies and skills for any emergency situation, if at all it comes in your life.

We should leave our mind free to identify the emergency situation little early and focus on decision making during that time. But alas, we are pre occupied with so many things in our mind that we turn the normal events in our lives as emergency and use our power of decision making so lavishly that we are exhausted by the time we encounter the real event.

phot courtesy bigpfoto

EVOLUTION




Change is a mega event. It is happening everywhere every moment. We can only have a glimpse of it, according to the capability of our mind and our inclinations.

In the vast universe, an individual is just a ‘drop in the ocean’ or a ‘tiny gear in the sprocket of the huge gear train’. Each one of us has got his/her values and position (which are not easy to be surrendered), but same is true for everyone else also.

We believe it or not, we value it or not, we comprehend it or not, there is always a system at work behind every change that happens. There is an order even in disorder. Mother Nature is at work always, quietly and for the benefit of all alike, with an unbiased view.

Knowing or unknowingly, we change physically, mentally emotionally every moment. We have only limited degree of control over this change.

To exercise this control we have to use the power of selection. At any given moment each one of us, irrespective of his/her position or circumstances, has got endless choices. But these are visible only when we look with open mind and innocent heart. Unfortunately we view most of the time with very limited prospective of the mind and with a heart filled with emotions like greed, fear, anger etc. With that posture our view is very limited and available choices appears to be very few. If you are struck in a position where the available choices are very few or one only, try to change your viewing posture. Ask these questions-
Is my mind open to (consider) all possibilities?
Am I honest and innocent in my heart?

It is true that endless choices are available to us all the time but this is equally true that we loose (for that moment) all others choices when we choose one of them.

Every time we make a new choice, we are creating a new world for ourselves. The world is changing and getting newer every moment in any case, with or without our contribution.

We face new realities every moment, but we fail to accept it.

Do participate in the process of evolution, sooner is better because the process is irreversible.
image courtesy freedigitalphotoes

CHANGE IS LIFE




Life is full of sea-saw motions.

In fact the very (biological) definition of life and the difference between live & dead object is based on two such motions or vibrations-

-The pump in /pump out motion of the heart, and
-The inhale /exhale motion of of breath

In the sea-saw type of motion first you travel one side up to a point and then you travel just opposite and this pattern repeat itself continuously.

That is what we do all of our lives. Like our heart organ and respiratory system we oscillate between one extreme and other.

We run after the objects, persons & positions but when we acquire these, the charm vanishes soon and we start living away from these.

We live a disciplined life but after too much of discipline there comes a point where we want to be free at any cost. After availing lot of freedom we start respecting discipline.

The opposite poles are the realities of life in every sphere and we can not get rid of one extreme permanently. They are the two faces of the same coin.

So when someone suddenly changes the direction at one point of time it is natural not abnormal. Our ‘line of action’ & ‘stream of thoughts’ do take many U-terns in life.

The direction in which your efforts are focused now is not much important (for it can also change at some point). It is more important that you feel like a better person after doing all that efforts.

All you need is a burning desire with clarity





It is very common to hear the remarks like, ‘if I had money /power / time / position … etc, I would have definitely fulfilled my desire of …..’
You must have wished perhaps many times like that.

We all have a never ending list of desires. But very few of these desires have the honor to become reality. We carry the rest in the hope of situation being favorable or accomplishing by the grace of God or by luck.

Have you noticed the difference between the desires which becomes the reality and which remains as desire only.

One element witch differentiate between these two categories is, ‘clarity’. If we are able to visualize with clarity & minute details, half the battle is won. But many times we are not very clear about what we really want. The picture in the mind is hazy and we are not very much inclined to asses the price to be paid for achieving this desire. The situation is compounded by having many desires which counter each other on some account or other. Such desired are never picked up by us voluntarily unless there is some external force or compulsion.

The other important element in this regard is our conviction of that desire being the,’most correct thing to posses’. In other words, we value this desire honestly and sincerely through our value system.

Lack of money /power / time / position … etc are the excuses we find to justify our stand to ourselves or others.

The simple method of dealing with desires is analyzing these one at a time, starting with most valuable one. Visualize in complete details how will you feel and appear after achieving that desire. If something is disturbing, sort out that. If you feel you are not comfortable in that position drop that desire and pick up next.

Once you have identified with clarity your most valuable desire(s), just have faith in yourself to achieve that irrespective of your present circumstances. The universe is changing at a very fast pace and you may event not realize how required money /power / time / position … etc are made available to you by new circumstances.

All you need is a burning desire with clarity and a firm belief in yourself nothing else is required. If you have these two qualities, you will acquire the other required ingredients effortlessly.


Image -courtesy www.freedigitalphotos.net

FILTERS AND BOOSTERS




Filter and boosters are two very common components of any modern machine.
Probably you must have heard about these.

Filter is a component that separates and stops something from a flow. We use a tea filter to filter out tea leaves from tea, a dust filter in air conditioner or an air /fuel filter in our cars to filter out unnecessary ingredients from air/fuel. A music system will have an electronic filter to weed out unwanted signals/sound frequencies called noise.

The booster, on the other hand, gives support and strength to the item(s) of interest. We take energy booster drinks and use electronic boosters. The TV and phone signal you see is boosted and processed and filtered many times before presenting to your eye/ears.

As we have filters & boosters in machines, we also have these components working for us in our daily lives .These may be in form of people, events objects or any other elements.

Do you have spirit boosting memories of events, books, movies or persons in your life?
It can be your mother, fiance (e), best friend, guru, idol, gazette, important moments or anything which gives you that effect. The presence of these elements is enough, sometimes a mere thought about them. Once you feel connected to them, you are energized.

Similarly you may have people, objects and positions which guard and filter your interests and save you from unwanted exposes. These may be your well wishers, family members, subordinate staff, privileges granted to you or objects like garments or house.

Filters and boosters have opposite roles to perform. A thoughtful selection of these makes you comfortable depending upon the item(s) of your interest. Are you able to handle these two components to your advantage in your daily lives conveniently?

Especially in case of people, there are chances that we employ a filter in place of booster or vice versa. The loss in such a situation is colossal.

Your rivals, competitors, enemies may be wearing the mask of your well wishers or friends.

Can you clearly identify these two categories of people in your life? It may not be so easy.

Find out and love your boosters.
Recognize and thank your filters.

Identify people working against your interest. Realize their limitations & compulsions. If possible, open an honest dialogue with them at human level. They can be turned to your filters or booster in spite of their professional compulsions.

More filters and boosters you have in your systems, more refined is your life.

WATCH THE DIFFERNCE




The border of two states happens to meet (or separate) on a point on the busy road in front of my house. I leisurely watch the flow of traffic from my balcony.
One thing I have noticed many times is that people coming from the left side often stop before entering into the boundary of the new state. The car drivers fasten their seat belts while two wheelers riders wear their helmets. After crossing the border they do stop at traffic lights and wait for traffic signals to turn green. The same traffic lights are operating also at the left side also but no one cares for these lights.
The sudden change in the behavior of the citizens is a clear indication of of the differences of the law and order situations between the two neighboring states. Although both the states have similar rules, the implementation and sensitivity levels are different in both the states and accordingly these have earned their reputations by people.

Peoples are also divided into two similar camps like this. One category,akin to the state on the left side, allows things to happen to them by others. Those people are taken for granted by others. On the other side, there is a category of people where you need to be conscious while talking/dealing with them. They directly or indirectly remind you of your part of obligation, if you cross the limit. They respect and are sensitive to their beliefs/values and cannot be taken lightly.

Which category of people you belong to?

MORE THAN LOGIC




Icebergs are the huge pieces of natural ice sailing in the sea. 90% portion of iceberg is hidden under water. Only 10 % is visible. In olden days, many boats were damaged by colliding with these structures. That time, sailors often used to underestimate the real size of iceberg by considering the visible portion only. Due to ignorance, they used to think that the piece of ice is very small which will be brushed away on collusion with their huge boats. But in reality, it was their boat which was much smaller in size than the iceberg and accordingly it had to bear the giant force of impact with a very big structure.

Human mind is also like iceberg. Only a small portion of it is active or conscious. The main part of it is dormant or unconscious. We often make mistakes like old sailors and consider conscious part only as complete mind.

We use our conscious or visible mind to plan, work & calculate. Our perception of things is based on our understanding of systems & logic behind everything. Accordingly we construct machines, buildings, superhighways, spacecraft & computers.

But at times, many of us realize that logic doesn’t work. The unexpected happens. Sometime it is our own behavior. After the event has taken place, we can always post mortem and establish the ‘facts’ logically. But in real time we do go through many events which are par logic.

Whenever we have a clash between man-made arrangements (like old time boats) and naturally evolved items (like icebergs), the limitations of logic is exposed. We pay the price of ignorance and new insights & techniques are developed.

We repeatedly do the mistake of judging the behavior of naturally evolved object/event with the same standards as we apply to man-made objects. The objects/events developed naturally have a vast hidden portion which cannot be viewed by the limited view finder of logic.

In fact the beauty of life/nature is its uncertainty about the outcome of events. Life is interesting because the future is unknown. Otherwise it will be mechanical like machines. The elements of hope & fear give us strength to go beyond logic.

So don’t get disheartened when calculations fail or logic doesn’t seem to work. Do leave some room for unknown/unexpected results and enjoy this experience also as it comes.

Let your life become a fair game not a match already fixed. Let the best player win-it may be your opponent also.

SELF INFLICTED WOUNDS




Once during routine check up, my dentist told me that I was damaging my gums myself due to self inflicted brush injuries. Then he explained me the correct brushing technique.

During World War II, there are many cases where soldiers had been punished for creating self inflicted wounds.

These examples shows that at times, either due to ignorance or to escape from the situation, (rather than facing it) we become our own enemy.

As far as ignorance is concern, we have experts and well wishers guiding us. If we are open (minded) for suggestions, we may correct ourselves sooner or later.

But when we use ‘self pity’ as a tool to escape from the situation/scene, it is not a healthy decision. We are taking undue advantages from the system/society.

Have you ever faced similar situation or know someone who is doing that by playing victim to draw attention?

Hurting self may seem an escape route from immediate problems but is not a healthy lifestyle. For sometimes, it may get social acceptance. But it may not be too often and for long time. Persistent attempts may lead to suicidal tendencies and need medical help.

Why people fall in this trap after all? It is because shifting their full attention to the immediate problem(s) and its probable ill effects. Rather than thinking and acting to find solutions to the problems they are entangled in the problems only. The problems are blown out of proportion in the imagination of mind which acts as devil in this case.

What can be done to safeguard against such temptation? It is the realization of insight that ‘problems and situations’ are the part of life. There is no escape route in the life time. Facing and accepting the challenges are the best course of action.

Therefore, never think to hurt your self. Love thyself and enjoy life.

NATURAL IMBALANCE




Are you honestly satisfied, 100%, from whatever you have got in your life at this point of time?

If the answer to above question is affirmative, than you must be either almighty God or a robot, not human.

Life is full of desires. We want to achieve something, make an action plan and execute it. But by the time we reach to our perfect finish point, we find that something else has become the centre our attraction. Once we achieve the item for which we were craving, its glamour vanishes.

Perfection is a myth, an illusorily point. We all desperately try to be perfect in our lives as per our definition of it. But when we do something to achieve the perfection, we create new experiences also. These experiences redefine our perception of perfection. The cycle continues…..That’s why life is also called a ‘Journey without destination’.

The basis of life is vibration or movement. What distinct a living being from a dead object is its ability to change. Of course, the dead objects also changes, but only under influence of external forces. The living being can choose to change from its present state to a different state. That gives it a power to create a new world.

The process of ‘wishing something and trying to achieve it’ is a natural process of our lives. But in this process we create a little imbalance in the system. The system tries to stabilize and adjust to new state. That is how a new world is crated continuously. We are the creator (and destroyer) of our world through our actions and preferences.

Once we step in to this world, we come here a small ‘task list’. But before we are able to finish our task list we add more items into it. This list becomes the source of motivation for living the life. Our unique combination of commitments becomes our identity. At any given point of time, we have handful of these commitments/tasks/desires. The list is never empty.

But we can exercise our (limited) choice of choosing the commitments. Aligning it to our capabilities/preferences and restricting these with our limitations will make the life simple and enjoyable.

NOT OUR TYPE




Mother’s womb is the safest place for anyone in this world. You get all the love and protection that is needed.

Once you leave it, you are exposed to the harsh realties of the world. Fears start setting in.

To counter those fears, we are trained by family/society to use the correct technique to live our lives. Our script is written in our formative years. We are given basic handlers (small how to do it programs for mind) to deal with common problems or issues in our daily lives.

These handlers are based on the expectations or set standards by our society in general and the individuals responsible for our upbringing in particular.

The arrangement works fine till we are confined to the limits of our family / community/ society and performing one of the ‘tailor made jobs’.

But gradually for most of us and suddenly for many, we are exposed to the people who are not of our type. Their logic, their assumptions, their beliefs, their ways of working is different. Some of these may be even at sharp contrast with our beliefs.

This brings the state of confusion to the mind. Questions like these creep up in the mind-

Is it worth changing our way of life?
Was there anything lacking in our way of life?
How to compete/coordinate with others, who are working on different set of beliefs than us?

Following are some suggestions for adapting this new situation in a healthier way -

1. Open to change - When we come across someone doing something in a different way, this is an opportunity to learn. But ‘to avail this opportunity or not?’ is a personal choice. In place of being rigid, we should consider the new way of working with open mind. We should consider and analyze the pros and cons of the new method and then decide deliberately. Theses questions may help in deciding-

-Is new way of working going to bring a significant change in my life?
-Am I willing to pay the price for adopting a new system?
-Will it fit correct in my overall context- my personality, my aspirations and my environment?

Alas, some of us discard or accept the new method without any conscious consideration. Either of this approach in not healthy-

-‘this is not my way, so I don’t pay attention to it’.
- ‘Since this is different and appears better, I must change to it immediately’.

2. No one is perfect-
What we are today is an effort of continuous programming on us. We are programmed by many institutions/ forces –family, society, climate, politics, government, economy, feelings etc. We adopt the ways which suit us most and this process is dynamic. Each one of us is unique. So others have to be different in many ways. It is natural. No one is perfect and no technique is ultimate.

3. Respect for others – We all work on our belief system. This entity is intangible but it works in background. In fact this is the guiding force behind choosing our actions and thoughts. This is applicable to all of us. So we must learn to honor the belief system of others as we honor ours without any judgment attached to it.

photo courtesy fredigitalphotos.net

CLASSES WITHIN THE CLASS




During my assignments as teacher, many times I got opportunity to interact with a group of students, called ‘the class’. I found that this group was always made of three categories of students-

1. The average- Majority of the students is reasonably concerned about their studies and performs at average level. They are generally happy with their performance, but try to improve only that much, which they can manage conveniently with their other commitments in life. During the evaluation of performance in exams etc, they are able to score average grades. Some boarder line cases may require a gentle push but most of them can be tackled by the teachers comfortably.

2. The deprived- There is generally a small population of students in each class who perform very low in any exam or test. Most of the time, there is nothing wrong with their capability to pass the exam. The problem lies with their attitude towards studies and themselves. There is a deep routed belief in their minds that this particular course of study (and studies in general) is not going to add value in their lives. They create justification for their low performance and remain comfortable that way. They require special attention and treatment by the teacher. They have lost faith in the system.

3. The achievers- There is another small population of student who are ‘high achievers’. They leave no stone unturned to score as high grade as possible. There is a tough competition to be the highest achiever. They require limited help, which is specific but demands special efforts of teachers. They find their own ways to get the knowledge. They are the innovators of new practices and set the new standards in the system.

These three groups are generally present in different composition in each class. These three classes are the classes within the class.

This type of classification is not limited to classrooms. Even at work place or society, we find similar categories of people. This is a natural occurrence in any group.

It is quite likely that we fall in one category or class at one level and in another category in some other level simultaneously. You may be an achiever financially and professionally but deprived socially and average person physically.

What is the element which separates one class from other?
The answer is, ‘the mind set’.

Each class of people carries a hidden deep decision in the mind, which was taken once upon a time but honored unconditionally all the time. There may be reasons to carry and honor this decision. These reasons may be both internal like preferences, inclination & attachment and external like circumstances, social, emotional or economical. Generally these decisions or beliefs are planted by family/society for average, adopted willingly/ voluntarily by achievers but thrust upon and adopted as compulsion by deprived.

This core- belief /decision for each class is given below-

Average-Play safe & comfortable. Be in limits.’

Deprived- The system is not useful/good for you –join the anti system & create a false identity.’ (Reaction to, ‘You don’t deserve this’.)

Achiever- Never gives up. Keep trying in any type of circumstances. You have to reach there anyhow.’

Belief
is just an assumption in mind on the basis of which we take further decisions and commitments. Many times we realize that there is something wrong with our core belief, but we are not inclined to change it due to the fear of loosing our identity which has been created on that belief system. But with little patience and awareness it is possible to change the planted belief in the mind.
The change from one class to other does happen naturally also. Just by taking one remark by heart, many people have turned achievers. Also by one blow of circumstance many normal persons have turned to the deprived class before they even realized what went wrong.

Before attempting to change, we must analyze, ‘whether there is any need of change or not?’

To my mind, it’s a personal question. If someone is happy being average, deprived or achiever, it is his/her choice.

But many people are not satisfied in their present class and want to change their class-

-Many ‘average’ & ‘deprived’ people want to become ‘achievers’.
-Many ‘achievers’ & ‘deprived’ people want to become ‘average’.
-Some ‘average’ & ‘achievers’, facing difficult situations even think of changing to turn to the ‘deprived’ class.

It is not very difficult to jump from one class to other, if you are sincere enough. The technique is very simple. Find out the core belief responsible to your present class. It will be hidden deep in the layers of information in your mind. But if you are focused, you can trace it out. It is just a decision taken long ago on the basis of information available to you at that time. Those facts may not be relevant now on the changed face of reality. Just realize that and replace the belief with a new belief which you feel is more appropriate to your situation now. Rest everything else will fall in its place very soon. There will be some time required by your near and dears to adjust to your new behavior, since they may not be aware of your adopted change of mind.

Most of us are average people and happy in our present class. We keep a distance from other two classes-

-By giving privileged treatment and blindly following to the achievers.
- By staying away from the deprived and discarding them.

The deprived and achievers are minority class. A healthy way to help them is to treat them as normal person rather than giving special treatment. They are the member of the same family with different mindset, not outsiders.

GROWTH



“Are you still there?”

Sounds a familiar question? How often have you heard that?

The realization of stagnation is killing. Life is only nice if it keeps on moving ahead. When it comes to halt, its ugly face appears.

The growth is evident in children. But what happens after childhood? Many of us struggle to grow financially, physically, emotionally & spiritually. Even those of us who are fortunate to grow, they are seldom satisfied with the speed of their growth.

Analysis of some of the aspects of growth is given below-

1. Dynamics of growth- Few isolated achievements can hardly be considered as growth. Growth is a continuous process of improvement.
Normally balance prevails in our lives. We remain in a ‘locked up’ position by two equal and opposite forces trying to counter each other. The forces may be-

- Drive for expenditure & income financially
- Drive for eating & physical work physically
- Feelings of pain & pleasure emotionally
- Sticking to individualism & surrender to universal forces spiritually

None of these forces are good or bad absolutely. These are just two extreme views of the same point. Balance is achieved by maintaining a fixed ratio of these forces depending upon individual preferences and circumstances. For example a miser person will have a high ‘income to expenditure ratio’, while an extravagant person will have this ratio very low. Normally we maintain status quo on these ratios unless something extraordinary happens. We can live for years, maintaining the same ratios. The ratios define our comfort zones and we maintain these irrespective of our circumstances.

The key to real growth is improving upon these ratios or our efficiency status. Have you observed an athlete or wait lifter practicing? It is a 4 step process –

- knowing his/her limit
- measure it
- Focus on a point just a bit more than the limit point
- Once the desired limit is achieved, the focus point is again shifted a bit.

This is also referred as ‘raising the bar’ phenomenon. By repeated practices the newly achieved standard becomes a part of life of the athlete or player.

Unfortunately many of us do not pay attention to the standards prevailing in our lives. They just use ready made standards generally defined by society. Very few of us think of raising the standards in our day to day lives. This involves coming out of your comfort zone which is painful. Normally it is done only when forced by external forces or demands. Those who do it willingly & knowingly become the record setters and leaders in their chosen fields.
Therefore, growth is a dynamic process of ‘raising the standards, achieving and raising again’. The process stops at the time of death only.

2. Rate of growth-
When you grow very fast, you also become liable to sudden fall. As you reach to new heights and higher planes, it becomes more & more difficult to maintain the position there. A steady and slow rate of growth proves economical and healthy in long run. It gives time to our system to adjust to the new environment. So just have some patience, enjoy the process of growth rather than speeding up and loading your system unnecessarily.

3. All round growth-
If we grow very fast in one direction, we tend to lag behind in other directions. A healthier lifestyle would involve growth in all spheres financial, physical, emotional, spiritual etc.

4. My space- Sometimes growth can be comfortably achieved by disturbing the growth plans of others. Is it worth it? We all can grow to our selected places and also give equal rights to all other living beings. That is truly human. Without love and respect to others, the growth is a mechanical phenomenon. There is no life in it.

Imge courtesy Imageafter.com

BALANCE




Most of the vehicles move on wheels. Even aero planes use wheels during take off and landing. Modern wheel is an excellent piece of engineering efforts but for the driver of the vehicle the major concern about the wheel is its tire- pressure.

Whether you are driving a bike, car or truck, you have to maintain certain amount of tire pressure. This amount is a prescribed value recommended by the manufacturer of vehicle for common road conditions. If you violate the prescribed values and either under inflate or over inflate the tires, the result is-

- The vehicle will be unstable.
- Fuel requirements will not be economical in these conditions.
- The tire itself becomes more vulnerable to damage by internally or externally.

For most drivers, the tire pressure is never a big concern. All they have to do a routine activity generally coupled with gas filling action. This is just to stop the vehicle at gas station where ‘AIR’ is written. The attendant there will check the tire pressure and correct it, if required. The driver may not be aware of the technicalities or benefits of maintaining the correct tire pressure. Some of the drivers are even not aware of the values of correct tire pressure for the vehicle they are driving. Nevertheless, they maintain the balance consciously or otherwise by mostly driving within the prescribed limits of tire pressure. (Sometime for short durations, they may be driving out of limits unknowingly or otherwise.)

There are occasions where you purposely violate the limits. These could be when you are participating in the race or struck in extraordinary road conditions. You may try to go beyond the prescribed limits of tire pressure as an experiment since economy of the fuel may not be concerned in these cases. The results of your experiment will give ‘food for thought’ for designer of vehicles.

The facts about tire pressure of the vehicle are also applicable to the journey of our life.
To travel smoothly in our lives, we have to be in our limits (consciously or otherwise). For some of us, it is a natural process. They remain in limits even sometime without realizing it. The limits are generally socially/legally accepted values.
But for some of us, by the time we realize that we have crossed the limits, enough damage is already done.

If we don’t want to loose the balance in life, we should look for following indicators-

- Your efficiency is reduced. You have to spend more fuel (life force), then before for getting the same work done in same circumstances.
- You become less stable without a valid reason.

It is not very easy to catch the early warning signal for ‘loosing balance’ in-time always. Some issues in this regards are analyzed below-

1. Use the difference for your advantage- What happens when you get two different views of the same subject from two different sources? Generally the tendency is to consider only one view (on which you have faith) and discard the other. It is in this type of selection when we loose our balance and become one sided. If you are not convinced on this ,consider the following examples from our day to day experiences-
(a) Since we have two eyes, we see two different views of same object. Both of these views are processed by our mind to create a third view with the help of these two views. It is the newly created view by which we actually perceived the object. This new view is much better version of either of two dimensional views by which it is created. By using both views to our advantage, the dimension of depth is added which makes the view much superior in quality.
(b) Similarly we use our two ears to hear a combined sound of two different sounds reaching each of our ears. The new stereophonic sound is much superior in quality.
The key to achieving balance lies in the way we react on finding differences. The balanced view can be created by using two different views to create a superior quality view in our advantage rather than sticking to one side and discarding other completely.

2. Balance the outlook not the circumstances- You can not change the circumstances all the time even if you are Alexander the Great, Napoleon Bonaparte or Adolph Hitler. The element of uncertainty will always be there with circumstances, because the control is totally not yours. But you can change your outlook. How you consider the reality is totally in your hand. Balance can be achieved by giving equal respect to all stake holders on any issue and then arriving at a decision based on your capability, preferences and free will. The decision taken is to be reviewed when the circumstances demand it.

3. Balance is a natural state- Our mind has got wonderful processing powers which can suggest us the best reaction for any unknown circumstances we encounter. The problem comes when we are not able to acknowledge the signals given out by our mind due to fear, greed or anger etc. Our system is designed to achieve balance automatically. There is no requirement to achieve it artificially.

4. How much is too much? – We all get enough direct/indirect indications by our well wishers while we are in the dagger zone of crossing the limits to loose the balance. There can be no standard formula to calculate the exact limits. Each person and situation is unique. We have to find out our limits and honor these.

LIVING IN HARMOANY

Remember when you appreciated a good piece of music – a song or otherwise. It appealed to you because it was conveying combined vibrations of your liking. Though the music you heard appeared to you as a single entity, in reality it was a combination of several sounds produced by different sources. But all these sounds integrated seamlessly so that it appeared to you as a single entity.

This seamless integration is what separates a good piece of music from ‘not so good’ piece. Many times you hear music which is a mixture of many sounds conveying different characteristics of individual sources of sound. The rhythm is missing. When a system works in harmony, it is a great masterpiece regardless of its motives, themes or agenda.

Harmony can be achieved in the lives of ordinary persons like me and you. In fact it is the most natural state of being. When the components of our body and spirit work in harmony, life becomes a celebration irrespective of our aspirations and present position in society.

Taking about harmony in the lives of individuals, we must consider two types of harmony.

Firstly, there is the internal harmony. There is chaos of thoughts, actions, feelings and decisions in our minds. Although we are responsible to generate these entities, these try to pull us in different directions. There is a big population of these items which keep on expanding at a very fast rate. To harness the energies of these entities and use these for our advantages there are three types of approaches suggested below for three different categories of personalities-

1. If you are a thought oriented person and attach high value to the thinking process, you should focus on your thoughts to achieve harmony. Try to observe the current thought in your mind. Take one thought at a time and analyze its motive, utility, relevance and applicability. In fact each thought which comes to our mind is just like a tip of iceberg. It is a part of some larger arrangement or scheme. The harmony is disturbed because these schemes are executed in isolation and are not heading to a single direction. Theses schemes are either our deep routed desires or natural design requirement by nature for our survival and functioning. Once you become aware about the details of these schemes which are responsible to generate the thought patterns in your mind, you will rearrange the patterns in such a manner which is best suited to you. Therefore the new thoughts which will be generated now will be in harmony.
2. If you are an action oriented person and believe more in action rather than thought, you should focus on actions. Put your 100% in every act of yours. Do not bother about the results. Just enjoy the process of action. When you do that you will become the leader and source of inspiration for others. You will invent new ways to do things. This way your each action will be better than previous action. Others will wait for your actions. With a healthy system at work, you will automatically align to the real purpose in the life and live in harmony.
3. If you are a person dominated and guided by feelings, you should find the main stream and go along with the crowd. Have faith in the system, surrender completely and enjoy what comes to your way. As a good player, accept the decision of referee whether it is in your favor or not.

Secondly, there is the requirement of external harmony in the life. External harmony means we live in harmony with our surroundings and other fellow beings. Nature has given us powers to adjust to changes in surroundings. For example our body temperature remains constant irrespective of our surrounding temperature. Whether we go to a hill station, desert or coastal city, the parts of body will automatically perform actions to maintain our body temperature. However, many times, we misuse repeatedly, the facility of our body-machine and therefore our capability to adjust sudden and unexpected changes in the surrounding environment reduces. To keep this capability in good shape, we should not take things for granted in the life. Giving due consideration to the external demands, like that of society, family, employer, government, co workers etc, will make the things easy.
It is true that you can not satisfy everyone completely in this world. But once you enjoy the facilities, protection and comforts extended to you by your society, family, employer, government, and co workers etc, you have to at least listen and consider their demands. You may not accept all of these, but convey your decisions to concerned parties and maintain a healthy communication system.

So be in harmony with yourself and your environment and enjoy the life.

LIVE AND LET LIVE




Each one of us is keen to move ahead in life to reach to his/her final destination. We plan and take actions according to our known capabilities and circumstances.

Problem comes when our interests clashes with some one else’s interests. Do we ignore, bypass or run over such a person to keep our way clean?

It is like moving on a road. We have vehicles and pedestrians of different capability and characteristics moving into different directions. But that does not give anyone right to hit the other(s). To ensure equal opportunity to all, there are rules and traditions formed which evolves with time.

If you analyze situations leading to accidents, one factor is found common in all of these. It is that ‘at least one party has disrespect to either the effectiveness of law and order system or co passenger(s)’. Yes, there are accidents due to machine failure or error of judgment, but these are rare and can be avoided by remaining more vigil.

Many times the problem starts with an innocent looking natural thought coming to mind. This thought may be like-

- No harm if I jump this red light, my hurry is justified and no is one around to take notice.
- Wearing helmet or seat belt is a wasteful activity, chances of being caught for these are rare and even if caught, punishment is mild, which I can afford.
- All pedestrian or those having a vehicle with less capabilities create nuisance, have no right to use and spoil the road and hence these deserve to be punished. It is the other party who will loose if I collide, not me.
- I have to reach my destination with timing set in my mind at any cost. At any cost also means, ‘depriving others to have similar facility’.

These harmless looking small thoughts gradually tern into habit pattern and taken for granted. After few trials, if the results of actions on these thoughts are favorable, then we stop even thinking about these trivial matters to save our minds from overloading. This is the dangerous turning point which may lead to an accident situation.

Most of us go through such thoughts sometime or other while on road but normally conscious enough to control these thoughts from becoming a habit pattern.

Similar analogy can be applied to life. The best situation is where each living being is respected and given equal rights to co exist and grow even if we may have difference of opinion with many of them. As we are in hurry to reach to our chosen goals in the journey of life, so is everyone else. Each one of us try move as fast as possible but avoid any chances of collusion with others. Collusion is to be avoided. It is painful and counter productive for all parties involved.

This philosophy is known as path of non violence or ‘AHIMSA’. It has been advocated by many saints and leaders since ancient time. In modern time, it is more relevant. In today’s highly networked society and leverage available due to advanced technology, any small clash can escalate to a war. The danger of total destruction is more real now due to lethal weaponry we have. So the best is to avoid possibility of any clash or collusion, howsoever small it may look.

Image courtesy Freefoto.com

SUCCESS IS SUBJECTIVE





Each of us has desires to achieve something in life. Some of these desires are unique with each individual while some are common amongst us. Most of us like to be rich, hold an important position in society or want to have our dream-house / job /life partner.

When we have someone else who posses any of the items which we have in our wish list, we conclude that he/she is a successful person and envy him/her. But who is qualified to decide about achievements in the path of success? It is the person who has to experience this success and no one else. An outsider does not have enough knowledge about the real agenda/desires of a person (as these are personal and seldom made public), so any comment made on that is not really relevant.

If you hit a jackpot by chance, others may perceive you as a successful person. But, what about you? Do you feel the sense of achievement by hitting the jackpot?
A reward or prize is given by others as deemed fit by them or it is an expression of value they attach to you. It has nothing to do with your desire(s).

Success can only be measured /assessed in context with the desire(s) we have to achieve something. But most of the time desires are not focused and clarity is absent in spite of rich contents (of desires).

Each of us has a list or bag of desires where contents are dynamic (keeps on changing with time and situation/experience). These desires are responsible for pushing us into many directions or motivating for doing the required work.

Consciously or unconsciously we keep working on our desires and convert them into goals to be achieved. Goals are refined desires with clarity and quantification. It is with respect of these goals one should gauge success.

If I set up a goal for me (whether declared to outside world or not) to run for 100 meters daily within 15 seconds , following are the example of clear failure on my part-

1. Running for 99.99 meters or less on any day.
2. Irregular running (not sticking to daily routine decided in the goal) even if it is for 1000 meters on some days.
3. Completing 100 meter run in 14.59 seconds on any day.

If you feel problem with achieving success consider following suggestions-

1. Each goal is unique and has to be dealt with context and meaning as perceived by you –the creator of that goal.
2. The goal(s) are either achieved in totally or dropped altogether. Sometimes amending or modifying the goal(s) is OK in the light of changed reality or circumstances. But if you modify too much then its time to examine and improve on your belief system or faiths rather than feeling guilty.
3. Our list of goal(s) is dynamic not static. On one side you will be achieving your goals set by you on the other side new goals will be added due to desires. Enjoy the dynamics of this list and keep it lively.
4. Within our goal list, items have positions and priorities attached. This position and priority can be changed by you, the owner of that list. Be conscious and judicious in this process of change.
5. Be passionate about your goals .Its your personal property. Examine and modify it needed. Why expect anyone else in the world to take interest in it?
6. As we judge and criticize others, occasionally judge and criticize yourself also. Evaluate your performance and plan for the schemes to do better next time.

Image by Free-StockPhotos.com

PROMOTION WITH CARE


Have you noticed the TV Advertisements these days? Look at the quality of the contents and technology support. These compete with the main TV program itself and sometime these are better than that. There is a complete storey and message in these Ads.

The only difference is the total duration of these Ads. These are short and sweet. These last for few seconds only. But the short duration is compensated by high frequency. If you watch an hour long TV show, effectively it is just few minutes show which you actually see( excluding the Ads) .But on the other hand, if you see a 40 second Ad, 30 times in a day, it amounts to 20 minutes.

The other aspect is there repeativeness . They hammer a point repeatedly and create association with some product in the mind. After sometime, we start using this association unknowingly. And our decision making on critical issues is influenced by this biased association.
This aggressive advertisement is not limited to TV only, it is everywhere. On newspapers we read, movies we see, hoardings on roadside, on our mobile & laptop screen, on website we surf, on our emails, blogs , its everywhere. It is an accepted norm in the society.

The amount of promotional material keeps on increasing in our lives day by day and our capability to accept it is also increasing.

In future, is there a danger of missing the natural materials all together in the life?
Will our lives be governed by man made arrangements only with vested interests everywhere?
Is there any harm in receiving/accepting promotional material?

There is no harm is accepting or receiving promotional material if it is a conscious choice of our free will. But when it is done at unconscious level without our knowledge, it is damaging. When it becomes a habit, it’s more damaging as it works like addiction. If the seeds of promotional material are planted intelligently in the belief system itself, mind accept it as real and we become slave of our own created habits.

We need to change our attitude towards handling the promotional material. Those indulged in creating such material should give some free space to customer rather than bombarding his/her mind. On the other hand, those of us, who are receiving this material, should keep themselves smart enough to differentiate between the promotional and natural material and also maintain that smartness.
Image -courtesy freedigitalphotos

Take charge




Life has given us tremendous power ‘to choose’. Each moment we have to choose among the available options. This selection process is influenced by many factors like -
financial constrain
social concern
self esteem
habits
upbringing
comfort level
emotions
thought process
.....etc.

We consider everything, optimize our resources, evaluate workable plans and then go for the best solution.

But this gifted power of decision making can only benefit us if we exercise it. Many times, we do not use this power and allow things happen to us rather than making things happen by us. This happens mainly on two accounts-

1. Too much considerations –when we have too many considerations, perhaps the processing load is too heavy. In such a situation we take an economical decision- don’t consider at all. In such a situation, conserving the energy of mind is the idea on which we work.

2. Too difficult to judge- When the difference between options is not very clear or we do not have confidence of selecting the best option, we withdraw from the process of selection itself. The idea on which we work in such a case is to avoid the pain/risk/guilt of a wrong decision.

On a short term basis the withdrawal from selection process seems economical and comfortable. But on a long term basis it does not prove economical at all. In fact doing this repeatedly forms the habit patterns in our mind and we start withdrawing unknowingly (unconsciously). Then we do not even indulge in simpler decision making process and leave things to happen on external forces. This becomes a vicious circle which should be broken if we are interested to live a happy and healthy life.

If you are in similar situation and finding it difficult to actively and consciously decide your next step, following are the suggestions for consideration-

1. Decision making is a natural activity as breathing. But if we do not pay attention and address the small problems in these natural activities, we may gradually slide to a diseased state like asthmatic condition which will require special attention and additional investment of energy and money.
2. You withdraw because some of your bad experience at one point of time in the past. Withdrawal is natural reaction to a bad experience, but you have to come out of it as soon as possible. If you were injured in a road accident for none of your fault, you can not choose to stay away from the road/travel always to avoid the painful memories. This is not a rational and practical decision, though looks a correct decision when you are under the influence of strong feelings. So be a man, grow up and don’t behave like ostrich.
3. If your present state of affairs is not in good shape, it is just result of a many decisions taken in the past. The good news is that you can take better decision now and change the situation.
4. If we do not exercise the power of decision making, we become more vulnerable for manipulation by others.
5. When we consciously participate in decision making rather than running away from it, we develop and grow by facing the challenges thrown in our way by circumstances.

Taste of life



Time keeps on moving without any brake or rest. In the next moment, present becomes the past and future arrives as present. In place of welcoming this new moment, many times, we get disturbed. This is done by loosing present moment’s beauty in either of these two concerns-

 Expectations for future
 Worry for the past

Both these concerns are natural for human. Past history and future hope is the guide for a healthy decision making and action plan. But when we engage full time for one (or both) of these concerns, the taste of life is spoiled.

In the dish of life, the concern for past or future is like spices. The absence of these ingredients will make the dish (life) tasteless. But on the other hand, whatever be the recipe, the amount of spices has to be much lesser than the main course itself. The amounts will very depending upon individual taste, digestion capability and the demand of the recipe.

If you are the type of person whose life fluctuate too much due to these spices (concern for past and future), get reminded of two basic facts -

1. The past cannot be un-done in spite of your richness or position now.

2. The future is unknown for everyone –be it powerful or weak.

The present moment is a present (gift) given to you by Mother Nature. Enjoy it to the fullest always (in all conditions) and your past and future will align to this happiness.

Enjoy the taste of life. Now is the time to start. Yesterday has gone and Tomorrow may never come.

GAME OF LIFE (Part II)


For some activities we play in closed boundaries of family and profession etc where changing team is a rare phenomenon though possible. We change roles with times. Son becomes father /grandfather, employee takes ownership, and friend becomes relative and so on. But number of players in one’s are of influence is limited. This is similar to the setting of game.

In some spheres we can change our position and compete with unlimited players. We gain or loose depending upon matching of our outlook (optimistic or pessimistic) with the reality. WE invest our energies accordingly and keep on changing our outlook .This is similar to the setting of a stock exchange.

As we change our positions with time, so is everyone else. The complete system is dynamic. On every issue there would be normally two extreme/opposite of views by people-be it expert or ignorant. Only time will prove, ‘which one is correct’?

We can learn some tips from our experience of games and stock market and apply to life to make it interesting. Some suggestions are given below in this regard-

1. Others may have different views than yours. They are not your enemies or friends. Learn to respect them. If you are right on some issue, others need not be wrong. Do not discard other’s point of view even it looks silly by your standards.
2. Be a good sport-person. Learn to accept the decision of referee, even it appears wrong. Also learn to accept defeat the same way you accept victory.
3. After the event (match/ transaction) is over, don’t get emotionally attached to it. You have to take new positions according to new game field/ market. The cycle will never end, though the pattern may repeat.
4. If you are hurt by someone, don’t take it personally. He/she is just another player or speculator like you. Forgive him/her and learn from the failures.
5. Try to come over ‘greed and fear’; otherwise you will waste your energies.
6. No one is perfect all the time. It applies to you and your guru also. Whole truth can never be available in the limited view finder of individual mind machine.
7. Only dead does not have capability to change. The beauty of life is its dynamics.
8. Life is series of choices. Invest your energies with care and take positions with due considerations to all available details. At each point of time, you have to choose one of two opposite choices.
9. Each individual is unique. You project your identity/impression in the world by the series of choices you make.
10. Decide on each issue, whether you want to become leader or follower. Leaders live life like passengers of executive class. They have abundance of facilities and attention. They can write their own rules, but are lonely at the top. Followers are the crowd of economy class bound by strict rules and regulations and avail limited facilities. But they have abundance of relationships and emotions.
11. Do participate actively in the game of life unless you are too old to become a judge or too young to just be the spectator.

Image -courtesy www.freedigitalphotos.net

THE GAME OF LIFE (Part I)



Stock market is a place of tremendous activities. The players in this marketplace try to hit the correct price of the stock(s) which is dynamic itself.

It is like players trying to hit the moving ball in the game of football or hockey. All the players of both the teams make moves in anticipation of the correct position of the ball to hit for placing it inside the opponent’s goal- post. The team that has more hits is declared the winner of that match. But the game never ends and players start preparation for the next match.

In the stock market, the two opponent teams are called bulls and bears. Bull is a player who thinks that the price of a stock will move up. He is an optimist. On the contrary bear is pessimist in approach who feels that the price of a stock will go down.

Both the players have their own reasons, analysis and information about the price movement of a stock. The actual price is a combined output of several internal (performance, growth potential, image or goodwill of the company etc) and external (Government policies, economic environment, demand and supply position of the product etc).If the price moves up bulls gets benefited and vice-versa.

In this game the number of players is not limited or fixed. In fact, as the number of players increases, the game becomes more dynamic and interesting. The other noticeable difference is that any player can change or switch the team any time. A bull can decide to play bear and a bear can change his/her outlook and become bull at any point of time.
Then there are brokers who make profit from both the parties in a deal and there are also regulatory bodies to act as referees.

The price keeps on moving up and down (both logical and erratic moves) and there are gainers or losers with every move. The endless cycle goes on making newer highs and lows. There are some big players who can manipulate the price to some extent for a short duration. There are also small investors or traders whose number is the strength and who collectively can also change the direction of market for sometime.

Many people make huge money in stock market with most of their moves. These are two types of people. First category is hard working and knowledgeable people who makes very correct assessment of future. The others are the simple souls who show courage and gamble and get favorable results by chance. The money is made by a set of decisions- buying on low price and selling at high. The timing of these two is very critical.

But most of the people also loose money in stock markets. These are the people operating from fear and greed. They buy and hold stocks due to greed and sell due to fear. And they do not analyze themselves nor gamble boldly (without attachment).There timing is ‘out of sync’. They work on the tips from others. Due to leverages available in the market sometime people loose or gain many times of their actual capability.
Like a playground and stock market, our life is also such platform where we see similar moves and activities. We all take small actions/moves with time which are based on either our analysis or our gamble instincts. Some people are gainers most of the time. They gain physically, financially, emotionally and psychologically. These are considered successful people. Then there is lot of common people. They gain sometime and loose many times. These just miss the perfect timing and keep on learning from there mistakes.

(..............Wll continue in next post)

Image courtsey Gifanimations

Fear or faith ?



Future is unknown for everyone. You maybe rich or poor, powerful or meek, V.I.P. or ordinary person, it holds true.

Does that mean, ‘we gamble each time we participate in an event or perform any action in our lives.’

Can we predict or control the outcome of events with 100% accuracy?
Control with 100 % accuracy may only be possible with man-made machines working under controlled atmosphere, not with human working in open atmosphere of vast universe. But we can always maximize it at every point in our lives.
To face the unknown outcome of events of our so called ‘known world’, we have two choices of techniques to adopt-

1. One is the safe approach of operating from fear. In this technique, we limit our actions to minimize losses. We evaluate /calculate every possible action and then concentrate on risk free activities. We keep on excluding the actions where some amount of risk is involved. By adopting this approach, our area of activity shrinks. We start living in our ‘shell’, cut off from the world. To adopt these techniques, you need to be rich in energy and resources. Everyone can not afford this all the time.

2. The other technique is open approach of operating from faith and acceptance. Here we tend to maximize the gains. We treat the outcome of every event as a reward given to us for our actions and enjoy it. The key is accepting what you get despite your likings. Here we expand and grow and can keep pace with nature. Our faith works as a medicine to heal from bitter experiences and helps in keeping us integrated in spite of destructive forces.

We apply one of these techniques depending upon our circumstances and perception of world around us. In ideal circumstances, the technique of operating from faith and acceptance is best. But finding the perfect circumstances is a rare phenomenon. Therefore we generally also make use of the other technique of operating from fear. Sometimes we invest so much energy or resources in using the technique of operating from fear that it becomes counter productive.

If you are in the similar situation and interested in plugging the drains in your resources, it is worth analyzing your perception of fears in your mind on which you are operating. If you are honest in your approach, you may locate some fears which are not relevant in your present situation. Identifying and discarding these will make you free from unnecessary burden.

GENTLEMAN





“A gentleman keeps all his weight on his elbows”

It means that man at top has to understand the difference between hard strokes and hurting the partner(s).

Then only one can boss around, hit the sleeping partner(s) very hard and still enjoy & let other(s) enjoy.

REAL OR FAKE?

toy frog

This is the age of information and technology.

But what does it means to a common person. He/she is dying with information overload. On any aspect/issue there is tons of advise/tips available but the question is, which one is reliable and in my interest?

You may be a well informed person and calculate the outcome of events around you precisely. But for how long, and on how many issues? The technology, theories and environment all are changing very fast. As a result, any calculation becomes ineffective very soon. Moreover our mother nature wants the future to be unknown for all of us equally so that life remains interesting.

Some of us expect that the life has become a ‘bed of roses’, just because lot of information is easily available today. In my opinion, it is too high and hypothetical conclusion. It is like expecting that you are ruling the democratic country just because you have a right to vote or you own a company just because you hold one of its shares (stocks).

No doubt, logically and conceptually, there is a possibility that every citizen with voting rights can become the head of state of a democratic country and every shareholder of a company can decide the policy of that company but the practical realities are different. If you have some rights , so what? Thousands (may be millions) others also have similar rights.

As a common person, there are fair chances that what reaches to your ears and eye (projected by experts of market and so called well wishers etc) is much away from absolute reality. Unless you are the best specialist in your subject and consider some issue of your profession sincerely, you may be lost in the jugglery and glamour of the world.

The absolute truth seems out of reach for most of us. Therefore, for our day to day issues, we have to make some assumptions to solve the problems of our lives. What we assume is not much important but becomes the basis on which we can work further towards a solution with the information at hand.

It is like a question of mathematics for a college student where some facts are known and we have to find out, let us say, income of a person. Now some student will solve with assumption that the income of the person to be 100 $ while others will assume it 1 $ and some may assume it to X $. They all can reach to the same solution. Of course, once a particular assumption has been made, you take it to be true for all further calculations. If you examine the solution of different students, before final conclusion they seem to be heading in different directions. Still, if their effort is honest and sincere, the conclusion is same.

Similar event happens with most of us in our daily lives. We have to work on some assumptions or beliefs which are made available to us by our community, society, culture, home or other institutions. These assumptions/ beliefs may not be real or absolute facts. But we have to treat them as real in the interest of solving the problem of our lives. The point to understand is that most of us work on unreal beliefs in our lives. (Only real superman or real yogi can live without unreal beliefs.)

We can live with different set of beliefs and reach to same destination. Of course, our working would be different according to our assumptions or beliefs.

Problem comes when some of the beliefs do not hold good on the face of changed realties or circumstances of our lives. We sometime become so much attached to our beliefs that get upset on knowing the truth about these.

Comparing our beliefs with others or criticizing the system/institution of their origin may not help. What is required at that moment is switching to a better belief system if we can afford/maintain that. It is like changing the software platform of your computer. The mind will configure to the new settings very soon.